I do not like this painting. If you are familiar with my work, you would never guess that little miss bold color and blended backgrounds painted this dark, thorny mess! So why is it here, why on Earth would I talk about or want to put it up here when it is different and so opposite of what I normally do?
Because this one has a story. Although it may not be bright and beautiful, the mindset that created it was not bright and beautiful either. This blob of thorn and blood red flowers came from an addicted brain. A brain fighting and scrambling to continue its addiction. That’s right. This is a quitting smoking painting. I tried so many times and this time, I painted.
The painting fits the mindset that’s for sure! If you have ever felt this struggle, you know this feeling. If you haven’t, you don’t want to know the feeling. It is scatter brained rage and defeat with a mix of tears and weakness. It is impossible to think of anything else. Thus the scrambled painting. It may not be beautiful but it represents the fight.
The fight is not beautiful. It is horrible and sadly I had to fight it more than once. I failed on this attempt. I failed many many times. In fact, there is even another quitting smoking painting somewhere in my garage.
Just keep fighting and never give up. Soon your smoking paintings and quitting paintings will evolve in to freedom paintings. That is why art is amazing. It is so representive of our inner thoughts and fleeting moments in time. Moments that we ourselves forget as we move on. Document your feelings and your life. Paint, write, draw. Don’t loose the old you because a new you has emerged. Remember your journey,